It’s difficult to answer your question about whether abuse had occurred. It is a realistic possibility. The dream revealed specific details about the potential abuse. It is uncommon to have specific, spontaneous, detailed and vivid memories about abuse if no abuse had occurred.
You may never know whether the dream is true. There is effectively no way to verify its authenticity. I would advise you to carefully record your dreams. Future dreams might reveal more specific details. Psychoanalytical theory suggests that memories are repressed because they are too painful to handle. Those memories are subsequently revealed when an individual is psychologically ready to handle them.
Many of the questions that you asked are unfortunately unanswerable at this time. However, one thing is for certain, if you were abused by your brother, you’re not to blame. It was not your fault nor did you deserve it. No one deserves to be abused. You were a child. You were an innocent victim.
It would be advantageous to seek counseling. Choose a therapist who specializes in abuse and trauma. There are many effective treatments to deal with flashbacks and many of the symptoms that you are experiencing. Your life could be greatly improved if you were to seek professional help. There’s no reason to continue living with distressing symptoms when treatment is available. I hope you will consider it. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Mental Health & Criminal Justice Blog