Your symptoms suggest that you may have depression. Another possibility is that you are experiencing an adjustment to a change or disruption in your life.
You stated that you want to be able to “handle [this problem] yourself.” You don’t want to ask for help. However, it would be advantageous for you to involve both your parents and mental health professionals. If you’re experiencing continuous emotional problems, then it makes sense that you would seek help from professionals who are trained to deal with these very problems.
The main reason it would be advantageous to see a mental health professional is that you have difficulty seeing reality clearly. For instance, you “hate” yourself, think you are a “complete failure” and a “complete bore.” Depression leads to unrealistic, negative thinking. A therapist could assist you in correcting your cognitive distortions. My recommendation would be to rethink your position and consider seeing a mental health professional. There is no reason to continue to suffer when help is available. You may only require a few sessions to address your issues. Please take care.