Please help. I think I’m heading for a complete breakdown. Every aspect of my life is in turmoil. Firstly, I am a complete failure. I used to be a straight As student, but now I’m just average. I used to be really good in writing, but now whenever I transfer my thoughts to paper, they just evaporate away. I used to have the gift of gab, but now I can’t even think of words to express what I want to say. My tongue freezes whenever I speak. Whenever I express my opinions, the words that come out of my mouth just sound stupid. Sometimes I wonder what’s the point of even trying. I have lost the interest to hold a conversation with another person and even when I want to speak to someone, I don’t know what to say. I am a complete bore and I am scared of being lonely, which is what I am. I am a loser and a failure. How am I ever going to be the success I have always wanted to be? I have a brain that never stops thinking, mostly pessimistic thoughts and I can’t switch it off when I want to. I feel like I’m losing my mind. The thought of starting university next year scares the hell out of me. I feel like things are never going to change. I’m stuck in a rut and I cant come out. I can’t be the person I want to be or say the things I want to say when I’m with other people, especially with my friends and family members. Worst of all, I can’t think of anything to say to anyone. I feel stupid and useless. I feel like my system has frozen. And I don’t know what to do. Please help. I was never like this and I hate feeling this way. I have lost interest in the things I used to enjoy. I used to love getting lost in an amazing book, but now I can’t even concentrate on what I’m reading. I used to love to laugh, but now it just sounds hollow. I don’t know what I want and I don’t know who I am anymore. I have highly emotive fears and anxieties and I just feel depressed. My head is just such a mess.I struggle with myself a lot and often, I hate myself.
Ps, I don’t want to talk to my parents or to a psychologist, I want to handle it myself. –Sincerely, 18 Year Old Miss-fit.Can’t Shake Melancholic Mood
Can’t Shake Melancholic Mood
Your symptoms suggest that you may have depression. Another possibility is that you are experiencing an adjustment to a change or disruption in your life.
You stated that you want to be able to “handle [this problem] yourself.” You don’t want to ask for help. However, it would be advantageous for you to involve both your parents and mental health professionals. If you’re experiencing continuous emotional problems, then it makes sense that you would seek help from professionals who are trained to deal with these very problems.
The main reason it would be advantageous to see a mental health professional is that you have difficulty seeing reality clearly. For instance, you “hate” yourself, think you are a “complete failure” and a “complete bore.” Depression leads to unrealistic, negative thinking. A therapist could assist you in correcting your cognitive distortions. My recommendation would be to rethink your position and consider seeing a mental health professional. There is no reason to continue to suffer when help is available. You may only require a few sessions to address your issues. Please take care.