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Friendless and Alone

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I am 21 years old and I feel like I have no friends in life. After high school I lost touch with a lot of people, which I know is normal (a lot of them moved away). I did not make any good friends in college. At the moment I feel like I have one best friend, who I do everything with. But now that she is moving very far away I feel like I have no one. I see all these girls my age with so many friends and always happy and I feel like I should be like that. I do not feel different in any way to other girls, I just sometimes feel like it is harder for me to get along with people, and when I try to make friends and make an effort, no one makes the effort for me. I am starting to get really sad and feeling like I am getting depressed. I work full time and I don’t know where to meet friends. I need help.

Friendless and Alone

Answered by on -

A.

I can imagine these feelings have been difficult to cope with and am glad you reached out here. I recommend you try two things. First, I would look around to take a class on something that really interests you. Not a one-time thing, but something that happens over a weekend, a week or a semester. Put yourself in an environment with like-minded individuals and let relationships emerge from there. Try to find a learning environment where you will learn about others and they will learn about you: A photography class? An acting class? Find something you like and learn about it with others who are interested.

Second, find a therapist in your area who does group therapy and join a group. Group therapy is radically different than individual in many ways and allows you to learn how to make and strengthen connections and relationships. A good group therapist will be able to lead you into a discovery about who you are and who you want to become. The find help tab at the top of the page will give you a list of therapists in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Friendless and Alone

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Friendless and Alone. Psych Central. Retrieved on January 15, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/02/05/friendless-and-alone/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.