I have a few family members with mental illnesses such as narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar, alcoholism, and arrested development and siblings with autism. I am not sure if I have a mental illness since I am only a teen and life is just starting out for me but I do have a lot of anxiety and I have been very depressed lately. I also have noticed that when I stopped seeing my school counselor on a weekly basis I started isolating myself from social situations and that’s when my anxiety and depression came along. It’s been 3 years since I talked with a counselor or a teacher and now when I am in need of talking with someone about my problems I find it very hard to do so without reading into their facial expressions and getting really nervous about what they think of me. When I use to stay home alone after school I use to get really paranoid and scared about every thing even when I tried to talk to myself telling myself everything’s alright. I couldn’t calm myself down and I would hide up in my room the whole time. When my mom would come home after work she would ask me why I didn’t clean or do anything productive in the time I was home. I would just tell her I was tired and I took a nap or I would tell her that I did do a few things but it was obvious that I was lying. I grew up with my parents thinking I was lazy and had no motivation of doing anything but that wasn’t the case they just didn’t know that I was just hiding the way I was feeling from them because I knew they wouldn’t understand. I have lost almost all of my friends because of my low self esteem since I am a bit on the heavy side and the constant weirdness that I have like not being able to trust people, not sure of other peoples intentions, anti social, low self esteem, a bit on the compulsive side, some OCD problems and more. I really want to be a psychologist because I like working with people and I do a lot of research on mental disorders but since now that I think I might have a problem myself I am not sure if I get diagnosed with a mental disorder they will let me go into that field. I believe I could really help people but than again if I have a mental issue how could I be a help to others. I think that if I go see a psychologist and I talk to someone about my problems then I will slowly be able to be myself again because I really feel like I am not myself and that I am trapped by what ever is going on with me. I am afraid to tell my parents about this and I feel like I have to wait to move out of my parents house before I can go get some help so I don’t have to drag them along with this. I hope you can tell me what’s going on with me and if it’s a good idea to wait to go get some help or if I should get help now. I also hope you can tell me whether or not something is wrong with me or not. Thank you for taking the time to read this.