I am 20 years old and since the age of 12 I’ve changed from curious to strange. I dropped out of high school at 11th grade, never worked a day in my life, and have zero friends. I’ve always been depressed for as long as I remember. I hate speaking and being around people (even family) and I’ve always had this interest in death whether I wanna kill others or myself. I see things all the time and when I double check, it’s gone and I always hear things from the voices of people I know but they never actually said them (like calling my name). I also do things I don’t ever remember doing and cannot concentrate on anything. I’ve been hospitalized 3 times, 2 for depression/suicide thoughts and one for wanting to kill a family member. I’ve been prescribed antidepressants and anti psychotic but never took them cause my mom n older sister doesn’t take me to get the message cause they think refuse to understand me.. Please help, I wanna stop hurting inside.
I am sorry that you are faced with this difficult situation. It’s unfortunate that your mother and sister aren’t supportive. In this case, I would advocate joining a support group. The local community mental health center might have a support group available to you. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) likely also has support groups.
Another idea is to contact the hospital social worker, report your dilemma and ask what resources are available to you. For instance, many communities have mobile treatment teams, staffed by psychiatrists, social workers and nurses, who make daily trips to patients’ homes. They administer medication, assess the patient’s stability and ensure that their needs are being met. Perhaps such a program is available in your community. It would ensure that you receive your medication. It could also provide much-needed mental health and emotional support.
It is important that you do what is necessary to receive the proper treatment to improve your mental health. The fact that you are hearing voices is concerning. Medication could eliminate the voices and help you to feel better.
If your symptoms do not improve or if you feel that you might harm yourself or someone else, go to the emergency room or call 911 immediately. Emergency personnel will keep you safe until your symptoms are under control. Please take care.
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2018). Depression, Bipolar & Bad Thoughts or Interests. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 15, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2013/01/16/depression-bipolar-bad-thoughts-or-interests/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.