Some people compulsively wash their hands because they obsess about potential contaminants. Others refrain from stepping on cracks in sidewalks because doing so might bring about negative consequences. There are also those who are compulsive about symmetry. Everything has to be “even.” In your case, you obsess about arguments. There are potentially thousands of compulsions and obsessions, all of which are characteristic of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
OCD is a specific type of anxiety disorder. Individuals with OCD struggle with intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors (compulsions) that if left untreated, significantly disrupt their lives. The latest statistics show that over a one-year period, approximately one percent of the American population has OCD. The average age of onset is 19 years old.
As you noted, this problem causes you to become “difficult.” It’s proof that this problem is disrupting your life.
It would be advantageous to consult a mental health professional. You may not need many sessions to decrease your symptoms. Length of treatment will depend on the severity of the problem. Psychotherapy for OCD typically involves coaching, in regard to tolerating anxiety, and learning more appropriate responses and reactions to situations in which anxiety occurs. Depending on the type of psychotherapy, the therapist may focus on the cognitive thoughts that arise with the compulsion to argue. In some cases, medication is recommended for OCD in combination with psychotherapy. Please take care.