I’m sorry for how scared and upset this has made you feel but I think it may be an important moment in your relationship. You and your boyfriend have moved into a fully adult life while still quite young. Your boyfriend may be having second thoughts about whether he is ready to take on all the responsibilities of being a husband, father, and provider. At only 25, you have a house, a 3-year-old child he has been helping to parent and another on the way. If he has any doubts about his ability to handle it all, the single life may look tempting. If that’s the case, the situation wasn’t about you personally. It was about his doubts about himself.
Instead of talking about whether he loves you, I think it might be more helpful to have an open conversation about the very normal anxieties that come with the responsibilities of adult life. Supporting a family and a home is a big deal. Can the two of you talk honestly and lovingly about how you are going to support each other in the project? Can you speak to all the wonderful things about it that make the stress and challenges worth it?
Such an important conversation generally can’t be completed in one long talk. This is something you may need to struggle with for weeks. Just because you’ve been doing it doesn’t mean that both of you are happy with the life you’ve made. Real commitment takes more than love. It also takes making clear choices about what kind of life you want for yourselves and the children you have brought into the world.
I wish you well.