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Broken Engagement

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I need advice a about something, I am from a business family and my parents had introduced me to another family and their son for marriage, and had ALMOST fixed it, I couldn’t stand the guy, and he was nothing I need in my would-be world…my gut feeling said I will never be happy with him,I was sad from the very moment, crushed from inside and knew that I was making a mistake, also he tried to flirt with me in cheapest/vulgar way possible every chance he got and that was it for me, so I told my father and things were called off in a few days. I did not think back then , but now I think I might have overreacted since I saw the opportunity to get out the mess and the fact that I did not like him….Now I feel a little awkward that , was it pre destined to end or was he the chosen one or did my free will end it, is it possible I will find someone…what should I do as I feel guilty about hurting my parents who have been actively seeking a groom for me and have failed so far?

Broken Engagement

Answered by on -

A.

In countries like yours where arranged marriages are typical, families are often trying to make unions. These often work and can be successful, but they are obviously not fool-proof. Your father made a wise decision because he did not want his daughter to be unhappy in her life. This is a good thing, yes? Every fiber of your being said it wasn’t right – does that sound like he was the chosen one? Hardly. This is a time to thank your parents for honoring you and your needs. Success is based on failure. You are simply in the process of moving toward success.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Broken Engagement

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Broken Engagement. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/12/23/broken-engagement/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.