I have a boyfriend whom I met on a social networking site 2years back. He works in ship management so we lose contact for 6-7months per year. We have only met thrice in last two years. But I really love that Guy because of his nature. But I am not able to trust him. I get angry and jealous even if some female friend likes his status or I find him online at night. I think he is not interested in me anymore. We have had sex also. Sometimes I feel he only wants to have sex with me that’s why he has proposed me. He lives in different state and sometimes doesn’t contact me for days. It’s me who has to call or text first. Please tell me what should I do I am not able to understand this man. I want to make him mine.
It sounds like you are in love with who he could be, his potential, not who he really is. If you have only met him three times in the last year, what kind of a relationship is it, really? Your last sentence tells the whole tale. You want to make him yours — which means he isn’t.
Let him earn his relationship with you. Give him a chance to call you and don’t be so willing to contact him first. If he doesn’t make the connection and it is only you calling him – you have your answer.
His lack of availability means you will always have to pursue him. If that isn’t what you want, it is time to move on.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Relationship Problem. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/12/16/relationship-problem/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.