I am curious about your “relaxation period.” Were you taking a different medication? Was your family less critical? Did you spend less time with them? The fact that you had a successful period free of depression is very encouraging. If it happened once, then it can happen again. Attempt to analyze what made that period of time so different.
You mentioned that your family is critical of you. It obviously upsets you. It may also be contributing to your feelings of depression and thoughts of suicide. You may want to consider limiting your contact with them.
You had been taking a medication that was not helpful. I’m wondering if your psychiatrist has been fully informed about your medication difficulties and if you are in the process of trying other medications. Finding the right medication could significantly decrease your symptoms. I would encourage you to continue working with your prescribing physician to find a medication that works for you.
If you are not in counseling, then you should be. A comprehensive approach to treating depression involves psychotherapy. Medication, in many cases, is simply not enough. You are an excellent candidate for psychotherapy. Millions of individuals with depression have had significant success with psychotherapy. With a commitment to treatment, you can expect the same success.
Those who have attempted suicide and who survived are often thankful because their problems were eventually solved. The same can also be true for you. If you feel that you may harm yourself, please go to the hospital immediately.
During your “relaxation period” you had a glimpse of a depression-free life. With psychotherapy and possibly the right medication there is a great deal of hope for you. The right treatment can cure depression. Don’t lose hope. Please take care.