One aspect of your letter that is unclear is why your mother retains so much control over your life when you are nearly 30 years old. Perhaps there are financial reasons that make it difficult for you to live independently or perhaps other unstated reasons.
This incident may be the catalyst that forces you to consider living independently. Perhaps that is what is needed at this time.
With regard to your mother and her decision to “send you away,” there may be very little that you can do to change her mind. You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do. You simply cannot control other people.
If your mother is willing, perhaps you would consider attending family therapy for a few sessions. A family therapist could facilitate a different or new understanding between you and your mother. A therapist might also assist your mother in reducing her stress levels, which in turn may increase the likelihood that she would allow you to continue living in her home.
Finally, there is likely more to your story that would’ve helped me to better understand the situation. If you’d like to write back and provide more details, I may be able to provide a more specific answer. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle