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Sex Before Marriage

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My girlfriend and I have been together for 6 months now, since the beginning of the relationship we have been having sex with no problem, no issue or anything like that.
About a month ago I notices a change in her behavior and he interest in sex had decreased. Asking about it had previously gotten me nowhere, she didn’t want to talk about it and it almost became an argument. After several weeks she finally broke down and explained she wanted to save herself for marriage.
While I understand that sex isn’t everything in a relationship, it is important to me, I feel like this will continue to be an issue. It’s already becoming a strain on us. I feel like ill start to resent her and eventually end the relationship and I don’t want to do that. What should I do?

Sex Before Marriage

Answered by on -


I think your girlfriend’s new perspective has to be honored in a way that both of you can live with. I would recommend some couples counseling to help sort through the changes this brings to the relationship. This means asking yourselves some tough questions: Does the relationship still work for both of you? If it does, how do you want to move forward?

I would encourage you to be honest with her about what this means for you. Do you want a relationship that is leading to marriage and are you willing to wait? These are difficult questions and only you can know what is true for you. If this isn’t the relationship you were hoping for, use the counseling to discuss what your options are.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Sex Before Marriage

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Sex Before Marriage. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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