You are most certainly welcome. You have endured many hardships. There was a time when you nearly ended your life. Thankfully you survived. Not only did you survive but you thrived. You began a successful business that eventually faltered seemingly through no fault of your own. Time and time again you have rebounded from difficult life circumstances. That makes you a very resilient person. Your resiliency is a major strength. Don’t minimize that important life-sustaining quality.
Having to work 70 hours a week makes you an extremely busy individual but your mental health is suffering. It’s vitally important to address the psychological issues that have been plaguing your life. As you noted, you’re not happy and you feel very lonely. Those unresolved psychological problems almost led to the end of your existence. That’s proof of how pervasive these psychological issues have become.
You, in all likelihood, would not ignore a potentially cancerous lump on your back and likewise you shouldn’t ignore your psychological symptoms. I would recommend seeing a therapist. You might be surprised at how quickly a competent therapist could facilitate a positive change in your life. Depression is highly treatable. There’s no reason for you to suffer when effective treatments exist that would greatly enhance the quality of your life.
The best way to find a competent therapist is to call at least four or five and ask detailed questions about how they would treat you. Choose the therapist with whom you feel the most comfortable.
You are working long hours. Your mental health is important but so is your physical health. Nutrition is important, as is rest. You should also see a physician to ensure that you have the physical stamina to continue your work schedule.
At this point, it simply a matter of choice. You must make the decision that you want help and then make the effort to receive it. You deserve to be happy. Please take care.