Based on the symptoms that you described, you may be experiencing depression. I can’t know that with certainty but it seems like a realistic possibility.
Further evidence of possible depression is the fact that you have resorted to drinking as a way to deal with your psychological pain. People often turn to drinking as a way to emotionally numb themselves. In clinical terms, individuals who utilize drugs or alcohol to numb their emotional pain are “self-medicating.”
In every case, drinking makes a situation worse, especially among those with depression. Alcohol, chemically speaking, is a nervous system depressant. That means it could be contributing to your depressed mood. The fact that you have begun self-medicating with alcohol may mean that this problem is becoming worse.
It is also concerning that you seem to feel as though your life has no purpose. That is evidenced by some of the questions you’ve been asking yourself such as “why am I here?” or “what is the point?” Such questions may also be indicative of an individual who is contemplating suicide. You expressed no definitive suicidal ideation but it is a concern in all cases of depression.
You should consider counseling. Medication might also assist with your depressed mood. Mental health professionals deal with these types of problems on a regular basis. Utilize their expertise to improve your life. I hope you will consider professional help. It could help you immensely. You might be very surprised by how quickly and easily a therapist could help with your problem. Please take care.