Every year or so I reach a point where i lose control. I am normally a very passive person, and things that would normally piss other people off do not even phase me. For example, when my girlfriends little brother uses my head and shoulders as his personal jungle gym it does not even register to me that it should bother me. Then out of nowhere i will completely lose my control and usualy end up destroying things around me. when i was a elementary school i threw a desk/chair at ym teacher and broke bothe the desk/chair and fish tank behind her, and i did this because the tip of my pencil broke. the next year i stabbed a kid for trying to talk to me when i was tired (i dont even remember it). and the following i sprayed a kid in the eyes with class cleaner for joking at my expense. and there is a lot more i wish i could tell you but im afraid i dont have enough room. More recently the fits of anger have gotten more frequent and worse. i nearly crashed a car and killed myself unintentionaly because i got mad. and not ten mintes before writing this i almost killed my girlfriends cat beacuase i meowed at me…. I dont know what to do and my family says i dont need a counsler or physcologist and are unwilling to pay for one.Uncontrollable Anger
I noticed that you are a college freshman. Colleges and universities offer mental health services to their students. Their services are free of charge to enrolled students, confidential and are often the best available in a community. Because your parents seem unwilling to support your seeking mental health services, the college counseling center may be your best option. My recommendation would be make an appointment and discuss your anger problems with mental health professionals.
I would also encourage you to have a medical evaluation. I don’t have all of the details about your anger outbursts but it seems as though you have little or no control over these incidents. You stabbed someone but have no recollection of having done so. It is possible that there is a medical explanation for what is happening and therefore it’s advisable to be evaluated. Discuss your symptoms with your primary care physician or the therapist upon your first visit to the college counseling center.
In the meantime, it might be helpful if you began to document the instances in which you become uncontrollably angry. Doing so may uncover a pattern. For example, you may find that you are more prone to anger outbursts when you are tired or when your stress levels are high. In order for the problem to be remedied, it’s important to identify what triggers your anger.
You should also educate yourself about the nature of anger. Consider reading anger management workbooks or books that directly address and explain anger. A popular choice on Amazon is the book Beyond Anger: A Guide For Men: How To Free Yourself From The Grip of Anger and Get More Out Of Life by Thomas Harbin. Please take care.