i think i am bipolar… i go from being happy and normal to being extremely irritated and really angry. little things can ruin my day to the point where i shout and swear at people who did nothing wrong, while i am doing this i feel outside of my body where i tell myself to stop but i cannot and then i end up hating myself and my life (not nessecerally because i shouted at my friends or family for nothing just in general)and feel like my life is irrelavent and everybody would be better off without me… sometimes it leads to me feeling alone with no real friends or people that love me and bursting out into tears (and crying is unusual for me) i usually feel so alone, i isolate myself and think, which leads to more tears and anger and thoughts of suicide. i have also created a fantasy world for when things get too crazy for me… which is filled with everything i wish i had in my life today. i dont know if this is relevant but i do have a father who purposely chooses to be absent from my life and have nothing to do with me, and i have been anorexic and bulimic in the past, which i have never fully gotten over (i still am bulimic and mildly anorexic).
I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of a letter, of course. What I can tell you is that you have cause for concern. You need to see a doctor and a mental health professional to get a proper evaluation. Please see your physician first. There are many medical conditions that can cause a person to feel depressed and irritable. You want to be sure that you are medically healthy, in spite of the anorexia.
It could also be that what you describe as “mild” anorexia is more serious than you are admitting, in which case you may be suffering from the effects of malnutrition. Your doctor might also refer you to an endocrinologist to make sure your hormones are in balance. The teen years are often a time when there are hormonal difficulties. It’s worth checking out.
If you check out as medically healthy, then see a mental health professional for an evaluation. It’s important for someone to meet you and to get your whole story, not just what you can put in a short letter to me. Once you’ve had a session or two to explain what is going on – both inside and in your world – a counselor will be able to advise you about what may be wrong and what to do about it.