The danger with self-diagnosis is that it is being done by an amateur. Your teen stumbled on a list of characteristics but she doesn’t have the professional experience and judgment to make sense of it. In fact, although completely normal, many teens have characteristics of personality disorders: borderline, narcissistic, histrioinic, antisocial. While they are figuring out who they are, they go through periods of time where they challenge authority, do things that worry the grownups, and have emotional ups and downs. Risky behaviors are part of the package. Teens are excitement seekers and rule-breakers. They test the limits of authority and challenge their parents’ values. They try on friendships and relationships like they try on jeans – discarding some perfectly good ones because they don’t quite fit some idea they have of the ideal, insisting on keeping some that we think are too loose or too tight. It’s a wonder that any of us get through the teen years. It’s a wonder that we parents somehow usually cope.
All that being said, I can’t make any determination for you on the basis of a letter. You took your daughter to one therapist who thinks she’s okay. You could certainly go to another for a second opinion. Or you could seek out a therapist for yourself so that you have an objective person to help you decide if there is a problem and to learn ways to manage the teen years.
I wish you well.