This relationship isn’t normal. It isn’t healthy. It isn’t okay. Your husband controls you by undermining your self-esteem, isolating you, and making you overly dependent on him. If that weren’t enough, he threatens to make your life even more miserable if you leave him.
Just because he is a preacher doesn’t mean he’s holy. In fact, in my opinion, it makes his behavior even worse. A man of god is supposed to be a role model for a relationship built on kindness and love, not a model for how to control a person by manipulation and contempt.
Fortunately, there is a women’s center near you. For your safety, delete your correspondence with us. Use the computer at the library or at a friend’s house to look into their services. You need to leave and you need to leave safely. Stop worrying about his reputation. He is being inappropriate, not you. You absolutely do not deserve to live like this. A few good days is not worth a lifetime of unhappiness.
I wish you well.