I am seventeen and my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, and though we’re in high school I take all of my relationships very seriously. In this case, she did much of the same, and we’ve successfully lasted ten times her longest relationship. We’re make a happy couple, and despite all of our differences we love who the other person is for whom they are.

Unfortunately, that’s where the positive ends. It takes very little to make her angry, or have her become very aggressive and hurtful. She has her moments where she’s the most loving and amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life. But then, she’ll pull a complete Jekyll and Hyde. She’ll claim to hate me and intentionally say or do things to hurt my feelings. After which, she feels terrible. She even left me for a week, said horrible things to me, and came back in tears and apologizing. Granted I’ve snapped on occasion and driven her to be so angry with me, a majority of the time it’s very sudden that she becomes aggressive. I’m not sure how to handle when she gets to be that way, and could really use some help or advice as to why that may be, or how I can handle it better or prevent it all together to keep her happy.

A: These radical shifts in mood and behavior can be very difficult. However, my opinion about dealing with them is to be both loving and firm. There is no reason in the world you have to tolerate this if it becomes aggressive and abusive. One of two things will happen. Either she will be able to realize that she needs to become more responsible for her behavior and change – or you will learn that little you do will affect her behavior enough for you to be happy. At that point you may try counseling, or consider your options.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral