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Trying to Be Someone You’re Not

Alison Dilaurentis, a character in the show Pretty Little Liars is very mean,popular,gorgeous,and queen Bee. I just love her personality and they way she acts. She always gets what she wants. I want to be just like that. I love her fashion and her room decor
so I want to my fashion and room just like hers, but I don’t feel right because its not right to be mean and spoiled but I really want too and I would feel bad if I treated the way she treated other people. I feel a little weird because I’m not naturally (mostly) like that. I mean I could act like her but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. I feel like I’m a copycat and not being original, and that is probably one of the worse feelings ever.

Trying to Be Someone You’re Not

A.

It is tempting to identify with a character who gets everything she wants. But perhaps you want to be like her for only part of her portrayal. It sounds like you want to be like the parts of her that achieves her goals, is popular and takes care of herself. Mean doesn’t make those things happen.

While you are working on your room, look around for a character that has all these traits – but without the one you don’t want. My guess is that role model will be much more appealing. Don’t try to be who you’re not.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Trying to Be Someone You’re Not

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2012). Trying to Be Someone You’re Not. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 20, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/07/24/trying-to-be-someone-youre-not/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 15 Jul 2012
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Jul 2012
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.