First, you are not taking my time. In fact, it was important that you asked for help. You found out that the earth didn’t open up and swallow you for doing so. Nothing bad happened. That’s an important lesson for you to take in.
You are right to seek out treatment. The place to start is with a therapist who has some expertise in eating disorders and probably trauma. Although you live in a tiny town, there is good help within an easy drive. Click on the “Find help” tab on our homepage as a place to start. You might also ask your primary care physician for some names of local therapists.
Since you are on their insurance, I do encourage you to ask your parents to support you in seeking treatment. They don’t need to know the details of why. You can tell them that you need some privacy and when you are ready, you will share what they need to know. Most parents of someone who is 19 are able to respect that. Don’t expect them not to be concerned. That’s what parents do. Ask for their patience and support as you figure something out for yourself.
Once you have an appointment, take your letter and this response with you to the first session and ask the therapist to read it. That will help you open up.
I wish you well.