My mom is bipolar and I’m starting to wonder about my own emotional state. Everyone complains that I’m too depressed all the time. I do feel down a lot and I don’t talk much. I’m also kinda confused. I know I’m bi but I’m a virgin but lately I’ve had these weird suicide by heroin fantasies. I don’t do drugs or want to hurt myself, it my head it’s more of a sexual thing if that makes sense. I also really don’t want to go back to school cause I’m in Army ROTC and even though I’m sure that’s what I want to do I feel trapped and see no way out and can’t get over all the things I can’t do anymore. I’m afraid to get help cause I can’t have it on my record. I also just don’t want to be like my mom, cause she quit meds and needs them. I’m just kinda lost right now.

A. I am not certain what you mean by not wanting to seek professional help because it will be “on my record.” Seeking professional help is not something you should be punished for, especially in the United States military. It seems as though the military has been making a concerted effort to ensure access to professional psychological help.

Your friends and family are worried about you. You “feel down a lot,” are withdrawn and are having passive thoughts of suicide. You may or may not have depression but you must be alert to that possibility. One should always attempt to prevent the development of a mental illness.

All interactions with mental health professionals are confidential. Please consider seeking help. Meeting with a mental health professional, even for just a few sessions, might be just what is needed to regain your emotional stability. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle