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Relationship Future

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Hi Therapists, I have a couple of questions I am married since 2006 but I move in with my husband before we got married and we have a daughter 10 years old. Still today I don’t feel that we are a complete family maybe is me. He does’t want to have anything together like bank accounts, house bills, car insurance, etc. I am his second marriage sometime I think that is the reason, but my salary is less then him and we share the expenses but some time I feel that I pay more than him. Also we both work full time, and I the one who need to come back from work to clean, cook and leave everything ready for the next school day and work, is anything that I supposed to do because he said that he need to rest. I am so close to take my things and leave but I really love him. Is easy for me to write and speak with someone, I don’t have friends.

Relationship Future

Answered by on -

A.

You will need to be more direct with your husband about his responsibilities. This is important because you need to stop doing as much as you are. If you are feeling depleted it means you are giving out more than you are getting back. This will eventually take a toll on you and your relationship.

Be clear that you are not going to continue doing all that you are and explain you need his help. If you don’t stand up for yourself now the chances are it will get worse.

I also recommend you push yourself to make friends. If this is too difficult you may want to find a group therapist who can help you learn to make better connections with people. But first I would try some new ways to meet people. An easy way is to take a class in something you like, such as cooking, photography or yoga.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Relationship Future

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Relationship Future. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/07/13/relationship-future/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.