If you believe in reincarnation, then you may want to read the work of Dr. Brian Weiss. He has written many books about the subject. With regard to living a difficult life, Dr. Weiss said the following: “Sometimes a soul chooses a particularly challenging lifetime in order to accelerate its spiritual progress, or as an act of love to help, guide, and nourish others who are also going through a similarly difficult lifetime. A hard life is not a punishment, but rather an opportunity.”
Dr. Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, believes that struggling in life is the norm rather than the exception. Expect to suffer, learn effective ways of coping with it and attempt to find meaning in that suffering. Dr. Frankl also suggested that one should, if possible, attempt to utilize negative life struggles in positive ways. He referred to this concept as tragic optimism. Tragic optimism essentially means turning something negative into something positive.
It is not fair that you have had a difficult life but you have a choice in this situation. You have free will. You can decide to receive help for the various problems with which you’ve struggled. The choice is yours. Gaining the proper mental health assistance is your opportunity to turn something negative into something positive.
You asked whether or not I believe that you can “get better.” I believe it is possible and likely, with the right help and I mean that with all sincerity. As you stated, you have yet to access any mental health assistance. Essentially, you have yet to give yourself a chance. There is a great deal of hope for you.
Schedule an appointment with a mental health professional. Report your symptoms and your concerns. By accessing help, you are beginning the process of healing. I hope that you’re able to find the help that you desire.