You’re probably not selfish. It’s more likely that you are right that you two don’t love each other in the same way. You’ve been together since high school and you moved into his parents’ house. It sounds like you kind of slipped into becoming part of his family rather than making a “family” of your own – just the two of you. Yes, it’s kind of comfortable. You’re treated like one of the fam. You’ve become such a habit that even his mother hasn’t been able to tell you she really wants you gone out of her house. She just acts it out. Your boyfriend doesn’t even treat you like a friend. You may live together but you don’t have a marriage. It’s not even a romance at this point.
I think you should either return to your own folks’ house or, better yet for someone who is 24 and has a job, get a place of your own. By all means, find a different job too. Find out what it is like to be an independent adult. Get to know some other men. The boy you chose as a teen may not have become the kind of man you want to partner with for life. You certainly want someone who shows care and caring in equal measure to what you give.
Yes, I know. It’s hard to give up on someone in whom you’ve invested so much love and time. But I think you already know that you deserve better. Actually, so does he. Find a way to separate with kindness. Wish each other the best. I hope you each find someone you can be so passionately in love with that you see stars.
I wish you well.