You may have many issues but you are also a survivor. You have come through so much, it’s a wonder that you can take the risk to love. Be proud of yourself for that. I’m thinking that past events may still be the core of things. Your are obviously an insightful and sensitive person but you grew up in an environment that was extremely unstable. People you loved and trusted kept leaving, through addictions, abandonment, and death. Even your own body wasn’t something your could trust. This kind of history is possibly the makings of a borderline personality disorder (BPD). You want love and closeness but it’s so very hard to trust it after so many years of uncertainty. You fear abandonment but expect it and sometimes create it just to get it over with.
If I’m right, there is good news. There is a well-researched and documented treatment for BPD called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). I suggest you find a therapist who is trained in the method and ask for an evaluation. Even if you don’t meet the full criteria for BPD, you have enough of the symptoms that the model might help you settle down. You can learn more about it by just searching the web.
You have found the courage to love a man who loves you. I think you both deserve to get your old issues out of your relationship.
I wish you well.