I feel really depressed a lot of the time sometimes I feel completely numb and empty and my I get shooting pains in my heart, and other times I feel so panicked and frustrated and my heart beets out of my chest. the problem I face is that I don’t really want to let people know how I feel as I’m extremely worried it might worry or upset them. for instance I feel really suicidal and I really can’t face telling my parents for instance because I love them so much and it would really upset them and maybe even possibly drive them to there own serous problems (as they have problems with alcohol and depression themselves). I see a therapist and I don’t really think that is helping much, partly because I find it so difficult to talk to anyone about this stuff let alone people I don’t know very well and because I find it hard to expresses the such strong feelings of sadness, self hatred and guilt that I feel. I would also speak to friends but I find that they can’t really understand how terrible I feel and I actually completely broke down and couldn’t stop crying for a long time in front of a couple of them which caused them to feel very uneasy and unsure of what to do and what they did try wasn’t all that helpful (saying things like “you should try and have a more positive attitude” and “everyone feels down from time to time”. I really feel so isolated and guilty. I feel so guilty because I don’t want my friends and family to feel upset or burdened by my problems and I really don’t know what to do. Often I feel as if suicide is my last option, please, please help.
You seem to believe that you are a burden to others. You are not. You are in pain and you need and deserve help. You are withholding your feelings from others to protect them but you are only hurting yourself. That is not healthy.
Sometimes people feel that way when they lack the problem solving-skills to deal with life problems. Suicide should never be considered an option. Your friends and family can handle discussing your feelings far better they would be able to handle your suicide. Losing someone you love is very, very difficult.
Your friends and family may want to help but are not sure how to do so. That makes sense, since they don’t have the training to deal with emotional problems.
Therapists have that training. You are withholding very important information from your therapist. As long as you continue to withhold that information, he or she cannot fully help you. I would urge you to reveal these important details to your therapist as soon as possible. It is the correct way to handle the situation.
If you feel that your therapist is not helpful, then try another. Keep trying until you find someone you are comfortable with.
Millions of people have felt the way that you do. They sought help, received help and have now fully recovered. You can expect a similar outcome if you are willing to seek help. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
Isolated and Feel Horrible Inside
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2018). Isolated and Feel Horrible Inside. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 11, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/05/05/isolated-and-feel-horrible-inside/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 5 May 2012) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.