Thank you for writing. The first thing to do is to go back to the doctor who prescribed the Effexor. The period of time that a postpartum depression generally lasts is long over. If you haven’t been back for a discussion about your symptoms and how you are doing on the medication, you should immediately make an appointment. One of the potential side effects of Effexor is anxiety. What you are taking for depression may possibly be contributing to your anxiety. If your PCP or OB-GYN has been prescribing your medication, I do suggest you see a psychiatrist to get a specialist’s take on whether you still need the medication or if you are taking the right one.
Meanwhile — you really should consider finding some therapy for yourself. Some cognitive-behavioral therapy could help you get your anxiety under more control so that you can enjoy life. I know you have no health insurance. Before you give up on the idea of getting any help, I do suggest that you talk with your doctor or spiritual leader about any free or low-cost resources that may be available in your area. Many private therapists also offer a sliding fee scale or low-income slots.
Please be more concerned about finding treatment and less concerned about finding a label for yourself. As you said, the important thing is to get back to feeling “normal.” You deserve it. Your daughter deserves to have a mom who feels stable and able to cope.
I wish you well.