Hi there. I have been dating a great guy for 4 months who doesn’t drink a lot and treats me well. I have never seen him overindulge, but his friends are partiers. Sober for 8.5 years, I am okay with evenings out with people who are drinking as long as I can leave when I want. This is where the problem comes in. He says he’s fine with it, but the nonverbals disagree. This weekend we went to his friend’s b-day in Tahoe and it was 16 partiers (pot and alcohol) and me. I was unprepared for the pot and thought the gathering was going to be much smaller. I’m fine in a lot of situations, but the truth is, I don’t want to feel obligated to spend the weekend in a party house with people drinking and getting high. I told him this and his response follows, “Well, I want to hang out with you and with my friends. They drink, which is what will be going on if we’re hanging out. If you don’t want to interact with them then that’s going to create distance between us and I don’t know how this will work.” I don’t feel like I have to spend every moment with the person I’m dating (would actually prefer not to) and am fine with him going on weekends without me or staying somewhere away from the party. This keeps coming up for us and the truth is that even though I care about him and we get along really well, my party life is behind me and I don’t really wish to spend a ton of time in places where the MO is getting drunk. His drinking doesn’t bother me, but feeling pressure to participate in that environment is stressing me out.