I’m sorry that a diagnostic label bothers you. I can’t, of course, provide a diagnosis on the basis of a letter. All I can tell you is that what you describe is consistent with what is called trichotillomania. But a name of a group of symptoms is intended to help professionals communicate with each other in order to decide what treatment, if any, might be helpful. No value judgment is attached.
Here’s the thing: Kids who are at all anxious tend to find something that soothes them. Some get attached to a blanket or a pacifier. Some bite their nails. Some twirl their hair. Some suck their thumbs. No one knows why a particular habit develops. The common denominator for all such habits, though, is anxiety. As children grow and develop internal coping skills, they are often persuaded to give up the lovey or habit that helped them stay calm. It’s a little harder when the “lovey” is a renewable resource like hair or nails. A mom can’t exactly wean a kid away from nail biting by gradually eliminating nails from the kid’s view. (Blankets can be gradually made smaller and smaller until they disappear.)
You’ve reduced your habit to something that is managable. You aren’t balding. You aren’t behaving in a way that hurts yourself or anyone else or that is socially unacceptable. As you said, you do it when you are relaxing it. I suspect there is something about doing it that helps you relax. It works for you. If you were seeing me, I’d ask you to think about whether the benefit of dropping the habit is worth the stress of trying. If you do think so, then we’d work on helping you find other satisfying ways to relax and perhaps to occupy your hands.
I wish you well.