To love someone so deeply and to have them betray you in this way is, indeed, one of the deepest hurts for us. This trauma of betrayal leaves us scrabbling for more assurance that things will be all right, but our psyche knows that something fundamental has changed that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with directly. Hoping the situation will get better on its own will not work.
You boyfriend’s issues are significant and you wishing they were otherwise will keep you feeling miserable. Your needs and feelings are not part of what he can comprehend or cope with. Again you wishing it were otherwise doesn’t make it so, but rather puts you a position of having to forgive someone you can’t trust and are afraid of: not a good place to be.
If you are not in therapy I recommend you begin. If you are in individual therapy I recommend you ask your therapist about joining a group. You need to first create a vehicle of support for yourself so you’re not so emotionally dependent on him.
Start creating a support network for yourself right now. Once this is in place you can decide how you want to deal with this situation.