The person who has growing up to do in your family is your husband. It’s as if he would like to erase the evidence that you were in a prior relationship. The little boys need a real man to model after, not a petulant child who wants you all to himself.
Your kids need you to stand up for them. They are trapped in a rejecting and hurtful situation. They are too young to take your husband on. They are much too young to leave. This situation needs to be fixed now or it’s only going to get worse for everyone.
Please, get yourself and your husband to a marriage and family therapist. Find out why he needs to put two little children down in order to feel good about himself. Reassure him that you do love him but he can’t keep belittling the children you love if he wants your love for him to continue and grow. Help your husband learn how to be a real father instead of a critical tyrant. Your kids deserve better. You deserve better. He deserves to learn to be a better man.
I wish you well.