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He Doesn’t Talk to Me Anymore

Asked by on with 1 answer:

My boyfriend and me have been together a little under 3 years. I am 18 and he is 19 (almost 20). Lately I’ve been living with him and his family. We decided this because we never saw each other due to our job schedule.

It was going really well, until recently. Now he won’t even talk to me. He’s joked that he is addicted to his electronics, but it doesn’t seem to be such a silly topic. Whenever he isn’t on the computer, he’s on his phone; if he’s not on his phone, he’s playing his Xbox. This I can deal with, except for the fact that it almost seems he’s using his technology to avoid communication. I feel very lonely and almost always on the verge of crying.

We used to talk about starting a life together (marriage, getting our own place, children eventually, etc.) but now that we basically live together; I guess I’ve been pushing the situation (a friend of mine, his age, just recently got engaged to a someone she’s been with a shorter time than my boyfriend & I) so maybe I feel compelled to push for marriage for that reason.

But now, if I bring it up, he ignores me. If I try to talk to him, he ignores me. If I try to have a conversation with him, he ignores me.

I feel like I need to move back in with my parents, because we were better when we weren’t always together. But I’m afraid he won’t even care, and I want him so badly to care.

I love him and I know he loves me, that much is clear. I just don’t know how to deal with this, or what to do. Is it time for space? Or what?

He Doesn’t Talk to Me Anymore

Answered by on -

A.

It is frustrating when our love for someone goes unrequited. But your words are powerful: “But now, if I bring it up, he ignores me. If I try to talk to him, he ignores me. If I try to have a conversation with him, he ignores me.”

If you can’t get his attention now I doubt that you will get his attention when you are married. Take his lack of attention as an indication of his commitment. If he wanted to be connected he would make more of an effort.

Yes, it is time for space. Give yourself a chance to be loved by someone who can be there for you.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

He Doesn’t Talk to Me Anymore

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). He Doesn’t Talk to Me Anymore. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 11, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/02/09/he-doesnt-talk-to-me-anymore/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 9 Feb 2012)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.