Home » Ask the Therapist » My Guy Lives in Another State

My Guy Lives in Another State

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I need advice on what I should do about a guy that lives in another state. We are in a very complicated situation.
I am 16 years old and in a situation I can’t figure out to do. I moved to Indiana this year, my junior year in high school. Among the fact of moving away from all my friends, starting at a new school where after about a semester and a half I haven’t made any really good friends, but my mom made me move away from my boyfriend that I am still in love with. We broke up of course long distance relationships are hard. But I still love him and he says he still loves me and he wants me to move back when I graduate and I want to. But the thing is he has a new girlfriend, he wants me to move there and leave my life and family but he’s not willing to come move here to be with me a year sooner. I recently went and visited and we had a great time and I am ashamed but he cheated on his girlfriend, so should I even trust him? He says he’s just with her to have somebody to keep around until he can have me again. I know I’ve probably made him sound like a terrible person but he is really one of the sweetest guys I’ve ever know and I’m not just saying that because I love him. So I just need some advice on should I still talk to him and go for being him again, or just stop talking to him and try to start a new life?

My Guy Lives in Another State

Answered by on -


Stop talking to him and try to start a new life. As difficult as it sounds your own insight about your options is the very thing that needs to happen. There are too many unknowns here to put too much, if any, emphasis in a relationship. Stay in touch, lament, and keep the relationship as fluid and flexible as possible, but move on. Your age is a strong factor in your resilience in coping with this loss, and your recovery. I think this will be both difficult and liberating. I encourage you to write us back and let us know how it is going.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Guy Lives in Another State

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Guy Lives in Another State. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 3, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 8 Feb 2012)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.