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Parents Won’t Listen to Me

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I have a group of fantastic friends, and a guy who I really like and he likes me. My parents won’t let me date. They think that this guy is a horrible influence, a manipulative monster and a cruel person. They think this because of a prank he pulled that really hurt me. He is bipolar and suffers from a lot of depression, he also has a hard time dealing with the past. We have this in common really and I really like him. He is one of the few people I feel safe around and I don’t understand why. When I will be able to date him, I want too but I doubt my parents will let me. Why won’t they listen to the fact he is a fantastic guy and a great person?

Parents Won’t Listen to Me

Answered by on -

A.

It can be very difficult for someone to want to be together with someone only to have that connection blocked. At 14 it is difficult to balance your desire with the fact that your parents are looking our for your best interests.

My biggest concern here is the fact that this person, this fantastic guy, planned a prank that was very hurtful to you. This isn’t okay under any circumstances. No parent would want their daughter to spend time with a guy who deliberately planned a prank that became hurtful.

Don’t confuse feeling safe with feeling familiar. The work here isn’t to get your parents to realize what a fantastic guy he is, but rather for this great person to work on letting your parents know he is sincerely apologetic for having hurt you. Unless he talks to your parents directly — unless he is able to learn and aplologize for his actions — your parents will see your desire for him as misguided. If he can’t take responsibility for the harm he has done, he isn’t going to be a good choice.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Parents Won’t Listen to Me

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Parents Won’t Listen to Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on February 15, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/01/26/parents-wont-listen-to-me/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.