Hi. Not sure how to get out of this deep, dark hole I’m in. I want to cry all the time, and feel like a complete failure in all aspects of my life. I really want to give up and if I didn’t have my parents and a few others whom I believe love me, I would just want to check out. I hate life, I hate myself, and I just want all the pain to stop. I’ve tried some an anti depressant, but it made me feel even worse. I believe that I must be a really bad person, and must be just getting what I deserve. I can’t get out of this hole I’m in.Severe Depression
It is important that you seek professional help. You are not thinking accurately. Your judgment is being clouded by depression. Proof of this would be your self-critical, derogatory comments.
Antidepressant medication hasn’t helped yet but that doesn’t mean that a different one would not help. When it comes to finding the right psychiatric drug or combination of psychiatric drugs, “one and done” is usually not the norm. It often requires trying multiple drugs, or multiple combinations of drugs before feeling relief. In addition, many people begin taking a new medication and find that the first two or three weeks are particularly difficult. After the initial side effects diminish, only then do many individuals report feeling the positive psychological benefits of the medicine. Sometimes, you have to “wait it out” to gain the full benefit.
Getting “yourself out of this hole” will be difficult to do alone and that is why it is incumbent upon you to seek professional help. If not for yourself, then do it for those who love you, who undoubtedly don’t want you to continue suffering and who want you to feel better.
Writing this letter is a great first step. It is a recognition that help is needed. The next step is to make an appointment with a mental health professional or your primary care physician. The find help tab, at the top of this page, can assist you in locating a mental health professional in your community. I hope you are able to get the help that you deserve. Please take care.