I’m sorry you are in such pain. After two years of suffering, you are certainly right to want to do something about it. I’m confused, though, why you are asking your parents to find you a therapist. At 20, you can certainly make an appointment for yourself. If you are carried on your parents’ insurance, you might want to be sure that they will continue to do so. If the issue is that you don’t have the money to pay for therapy, ask your doctor if there is a clinic that has either a sliding fee scale or low fees for low-income people. If your acting career isn’t taking off enough for you to be making a living wage, you may have to do what most beginning actors do: Get a job so you can support yourself and your therapy while you look for your first acting break.
If you miss your friend so much, perhaps it’s time to reach out and see if you can patch things up. Yes, he hurt you. But maybe there is more to the situation than you could see at the time. Maybe enough time has passed that you can forgive or at least work on it.
Meanwhile, if you feel like cutting your wrists or if you think about suicide as an answer (it isn’t), please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-TALK. Counselors are there 24/7 to talk to people who feel hopeless or depressed.
I wish you well.