Before you can be a loving partner to this man, you need to do some serious growing up. It’s understandable that at only 20, you are insecure and immature. But that doesn’t make your attitude and behavior okay.
The reality is that the very qualities that make this man worth loving are the qualities you hate. Unlike many guys, he didn’t walk away from his responsibilities. He loves his little girl. He’s been there enough that she loves him. He’s an awesome dad and he wants you in his life. This is a man most women would give anything to be with.
But you’re so competitive with his past that you want him to erase it. Instead, you need to be embracing his daughter and developing a civil relationship with her mother. If you in fact stay with your guy, you will be coparenting his daughter. You, your boyfriend, and his ex will need to make joint parenting decisions that are in her best interests. In many ways, she is the first child in your family. Should you go on to have a child of your own, he or she will be special in his or her own way — as your first birth child. The man you’re with won’t love that child less, just differently — just as all of us love each child in our family a little differently.
If you can’t sincerely and wholeheartedly wrap your head and heart around loving your boyfriend partly because he loves his little girl so much, let him go so he can find a woman who won’t make him choose.
I wish you well.