This is a story as old as time. There have always been adult children who fall in love with a person their parents think is wrong for them. It’s what Romeo and Julietteand West Side Storyare all about. As you know, those relationships ended in disaster. They don’t have to. But when parents are this stuck in their ways, going off with the beloved person has a huge cost. Many families never accept the partner. Many even reject their own child.
You’ve been together since you were only 12 or 13. I don’t question your love for each other but I do question whether you are ready to make a forever commitment with so little experience with dating. I’d be saying the same thing if you were the same race. There is a kind of co-dependency that often gets going when people meet so young and never explore other relationships. Familiarity isn’t enough of a foundation for lasting love. For that reason, I think it might be wise for you and your boyfriend to take a break, to meet other people, and to learn more about yourselves and others. I hope you are both in school or starting careers. Those experiences will also help you grow.
If you feel the same way about each other after a year or so of exploration with other people, it’s then time for the two of you, together, to have a serious talk with your folks and his. I suspect they don’t want to lose you any more than you want to lose them. If they see that the two of you are making a mature choice rather than just sliding into something that started when you were 13, they may be more receptive. If not, you’ll have a difficult, difficult choice to make. I certainly hope it doesn’t come to that.
I wish you well.