What you should do is listen to yourself. You’re right. You don’t yet know what you want in your life. Having a number of relationships in the teens and early 20s is normal. This isn’t necessarily a “cycle.” It’s how people sort out what they do and don’t want in a life partner. My guess is that having a child made it difficult for you to do the kind of self-exploration that is usual at this stage of life. Responsibilities to your daughter do come first. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take the time to understand yourself and to decide who it is you are looking for.
I suggest you slow down. At 21, you have plenty of time. You shouldn’t settle into married life unless you are 100 percent ready — no matter how sweet the guy or how invested your family is in him. Your family isn’t going to live with him. You are.
When you are disinhibited by alcohol, you say what you really think. Since you are under the influence, it’s likely that your boyfriend doesn’t take you seriously.
It’s time you had that same talk while cold sober. Tell him that he may be perfect in every way but you’re simply not ready to settle down. Free him to explore other relationships. Get yourself involved with school or activities that will help you develop yourself and expand your circle of friends. If this relationship has promise, you may come back around to it in a few years.
Even though you aren’t ready to be a wife, you are already a mother. Make sure to give your daughter the love and care she deserves too. You need to nurture her development as well as your own.
I wish you well.