The most important part of your letter is that you are reaching out for some help. You’re right. You do need someone to talk to. I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of only a letter but social anxiety would be a reasonable guess, given what you’ve told me. You’re also probably grieving both the loss of your mother and the loss of the life you thought you had. It’s a lot to handle.
The Boys and Girls Town organization has a hotline for teens like you. Many young people are in the same situation, with parents who can’t or won’t understand. Take a look at their website to get an idea of the services they offer. There are counselors available 24/7 to talk with you when you are feeling low or when you don’t know where to turn. The phone number is 800-448-3000.
Secondly, click on the “Find Help” tab on the PsychCentral homepage. I checked. There are at least 8 therapists listed in your city. However, they don’t indicate if they speak Spanish. I suggest you contact your doctor or call your local mental health clinic to get recommendations for Spanish-speaking counselors. You’re right. It’s generally easier for people to talk about the things that matter most to them in their own language. Don’t give up on the idea of finding a good counselor who speaks Spanish without putting in some effort to find them.
When you do find a therapist, please give yourself the gift of an honest try at the process. You need to tell the therapist what’s really going on with you — all of it. It might help to bring the letter you sent to us here at PscyhCentral with you as a way to get started. Sadly, counselors can’t read minds. We only have what we’re given by our clients to work with. It’s like making bread. If someone only gives me the milk, eggs, and sugar but doesn’t give me the flour, I can’t make a loaf no matter how hard I try. Your counselor needs to know as much about you as possible if he or she is to help you make sense of things.
You made a good start at helping yourself by writing to us. Now, please, take the next step. You have suffered long enough.
I wish you well.