Diagnosis over the Internet is difficult. I cannot say with certainty whether or not you have a particular diagnosis but there are several symptoms that would be indicative of a problem, including: anxiety, believing that others are talking about you, difficulty making a connection with others, and suicidal thinking. Those may be symptoms of a specific mental health diagnosis including, though not limited to, depression, anxiety disorder, or personality disorder.
Another possibility exists. You may not have a diagnosable mental health disorder but rather are feeling an overall dissatisfaction with your life. You feel that you “should be doing something greater” with your life. That statement supports the assertion that you are experiencing a general dissatisfaction with your life. At some level, you may feel that you are capable of more than you currently have achieved.
My recommendation is to have a psychological evaluation. An evaluation would be advantageous for several reasons. One reason is that the clinician can gather many more details about your life and history and make an objective determination regarding a mental health diagnosis. Secondly, he or she could provide a referral to the appropriate treatment provider, if necessary. Finally, the clinician can answer any specific questions that you have regarding your symptoms. The find help tab, the top of this page, can help you to locate a mental health professional in your community. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle