There must be something wrong with me. I don’t hate my life, in fact I have a fantastic life, and I may be the luckiest person I know. But everything I am, I want to change. As soon as I say something, I can’t stop thinking about how stupid it sounded to everyone. I think about my past, and the actions I have done, and I nearly go into a panic attack about how much people must hate me. As soon as I am not focused on school, everything I’ve said or done (especially when I was inebriated) runs through my head and I can’t stop feeling as though everything I do is wrong. No one likes me, or ever will, and I can never do right because of all the mistakes I have made. I want so badly to do right by everyone, I put all my energy into it. I want everyone I love to be happy and I do everything I can to make it so. I realize that people are who they are, and I accept everyone for what they are. Yet I can’t accept myself. No matter what I do I can’t let me just be me, because I so strongly feel that what I am what everyone else is going to hate. I need help, I feel like if I feel this way about me another day I’m going to crumble. I want to disappear so I never have to be judged again. I am not suicidal, however. Please help me. It burdens every aspect of all of my days.
What a burden this must be to cope with! But I certainly admire the fact that you are looking to change and that you have reached out to us here.
Although I rarely make such a direct recommendation I feel compelled to do so in this case. Your mind, for whatever reason, is trying to protect you from things that you don’t need protection from. Everything I know about that process is that anything we can do to get your frontal lobes to take a little break should be helpful. The thing I am going to recommend is MBSR mindfulness-based stress reduction. If that isn’t available in your area, yoga and meditation class will be a help.
Meditation does many things that are helpful and have been verified through research. But the main thing is that it will help you gain a sense of control.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Regret Everything I Do. Psych Central.
Retrieved on December 8, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/10/27/i-regret-everything-i-do/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 27 Oct 2011) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.