Thank you for writing. Both you and your wife have significant problems that could jeopardize your marriage and your children’s welfare. You are equally at fault. Life is often frustrating and your wife hasn’t learned how to deal with it gracefully and effectively. Life and relationships can be upsetting and you haven’t learned how to express your feelings and work through them gracefully and effectively. Those two issues are on a collision course. It’s time for a change. You both have some personal growing to do both for your own sakes and for the sake of teaching and modeling for your children how to manage the frustrations and upsets of life.
Please find a couples counselor who is familiar with your culture and upbringing and who can help the two of you learn new skills for dealing with your personal issues. You need to figure out ways to help your wife when she is upset. She needs to learn ways to encourage you to express your feelings. With some coaching and support from a good therapist, you can both learn how to be more loving and supportive in these areas of your relationship.
I wish you well.