I am not sure what is wrong with me.This is about me and about my current “boyfriend”,or whatever he wants to call himself.I don’t feel like I am good enough, not just for him but for anything.We had some issues that I just can’t seem to forget about no matter how much I try.Now I don’t know if I love him, love my best friend,I’m used to him,or I just don’t want to be alone.I found a skype conversation saying that he liked this girl,and she liked him too.He said he was just trying to boost her self-esteem.But I’m not sure I believe it.The point is that I think it really brought me down.I get sad if I lose at any games,I hate that I am not that smart,I am not really good at anything,and it’s not like I am beautiful.She does a lot.I feel like he could easily leave me for someone so much better.I have let this affect my life and I don’t want it to anymore. I don’t know if I made any sense and I don’t know exactly what to do,but it felt good typing it down. If anyone can,Please help…
I hate myself
I’m so glad you wrote. It’s the first step toward change. For reasons you didn’t explain in your letter, your self-esteem is in the basement. You are so convinced that there is nothing attractive or interesting about you, you may well create the very thing you fear. If you don’t like and love yourself, it will be hard for anyone else to.
If you could get yourself out of these feelings on your own, you would have done so already. Instead, you are just spinning in your negative feelings about yourself. It’s time for you to find a counselor. Look into your school mental health services or ask your doctor for a referral. A counselor will help you understand why you are so hard on yourself and will help you rebuild your self-esteem and dignity.
Please follow through and make that phone call. You deserve a happier life.
I wish you well.