Oh, there were underlying feelings, all right. The man was scared! So was everyone else in that drinking spree. It’s not at all unusual for people to lose their good judgment and to reach for someone else when they are drunk and frightened, and especially when they don’t want to admit how frightened they are. I suggest you believe your husband. He and the other soldier are not carrying on a flirtation. They were drunk and clinging to each other for comfort when they were about to be deployed.
The person I question in this story is the person who decided to contact you. That person is certainly stirring up trouble where there doesn’t need to be any. My guess is that either he or she is trying to get even with your husband or the other soldier for something or he or she is attracted to you. It’s not wise to listen to troublemakers. Don’t respond to any more contacts.
Most military bases have psychological services for soldiers and their families. I think it would be helpful to talk to a counselor who has lots of experience working with military personnel. A military counselor can reassure you better than I can that what your husband did is not a comment on your relationship and can help you deal with your feelings about it.
You and your husband need to put this behind you. You both have enough to worry about without adding overconcern about an impulsive moment. Let it be the trivial incident it was and put your energy into supporting and loving each other while he is in harm’s way.
I wish you well.