It would be wrong not to reveal this information to your therapist and to your doctor. It is important that they are fully aware of what you are thinking and feeling. They can’t help you if they are unaware of your concerns. In fact, revealing such information could lead to psychological growth, which is the goal of therapy. Giving in to your fears might strengthen the depression. You want to avoid that.
You may gain “comfort” from depression because, as you have said, it has been with you since childhood. In that way, it might function as an emotional security blanket. Not feeling depressed means that you will have to feel something different. It is natural to fear the unknown. It is human nature.
While the depression may comfort you, it’s important to understand that it only holds you back in life. It is a false sense of comfort. Depression is nothing that you should want to hold onto. My advice would be to force yourself to be honest with your treatment providers even if that prospect frightens you. Therapy is often not a comfortable process. Deciding against revealing your true thoughts would be like giving yourself permission to continue living with depression. The results of such a decision would mean prolonged suffering. Go to the appointment, be honest and begin the process of eliminating depression from your life. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle