for starters i was sexually abused as a child, suppressed it for years, wake up in sweats and cant find myself. tend to push people away. always talk someone in my head, kind of like i found a friend. dont talk to people but when i do, i get nervous, say what i have to say then “retreat” until comfortable enough to come back. introvert and prefer to be by by myself. scared to be alone. take on demonic/angelic personas…depending on the environment im in. its like i have to kick myself in order to feel good/sane/at ease. the crazy part is i feel like/think im being followed all the damn time and its ******* frustrating/annoying/depressing. i hear thoughts that arent mine and it makes me want to punch walls which drives me to my demonic evil ill-kill-you-if-you-touch-me side. please help me if you can. appreciate it.
Roman, I am very sorry that you are struggling. It is difficult not to feel grounded. The fact that you have the insight to recognize that a problem exists is very encouraging. It means that you can take action. I would strongly recommend that you see a mental health professional immediately. The symptoms that you have described should not be left untreated. They are significantly interfering with your life. There are many treatments that could help you. You don’t have to continue suffering.
Generally speaking, people who hear voices do not describe it as a pleasant experience. The voices often say very negative things and urge the individual to engage in destructive behavior. Voices are not a normal part of everyday life. Hearing voices is a sign that help is needed.
Seeking help may be difficult for you because of your introverted nature but do it anyway. If money is an issue, then go to your local community mental health center. You can be evaluated and offered treatment by a mental health professional for a low rate or free of charge. If you feel that you might harm yourself or someone else, then go to the emergency room or call 911. Please take care and get help as soon as possible.