You have already shown a tremendous amount of insight and resilience in coping with your family. It sounds like it may be time, at 21, to begin working on your independence and individuation.
It sounds like you need a plan to develop your identity away from your family. My encouragement is to connect with a therapist that can help you decide what direction you want to go in. (The find help tab at the top will guide you.) It may also be time to get reevaluated for medicine. The antidepressants may be helpful in breaking the cycle of anger and helplessness, and the therapy may be a way to gain some support in bringing the changes you want into your life.