Nothing can change the past. It will always be a part of your life. It is important to view your current life in a realistic perspective. Famous psychologist Abraham Maslow says that “getting used to our blessings is one of the most important non-evil generators of human evil, tragedy and suffering.”
You have suffered a great deal in your life but there are blessings that you are undervaluing. There is an old saying that may be instructive: “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.” You mentioned that you have twins who have recently returned home from Afghanistan. In fact, all three of your children are home and safe. Many families have loved ones fighting in Afghanistan, who may never see their children again. The fact that your children went to war and survived is a blessing that cannot be overlooked or underappreciated. The fact that you have three children is a blessing. Were you not blessed to have survived the ugly, bitter events of your childhood?
Dwelling on the past might lead you to feel anger. Your anger is understandable but it is self-destructive. You were dealt a difficult hand in life but you have survived.
Counseling could be of great help at this time in your life. What has happened in your life can never be changed, but how you view it and respond to it certainly can be. Counseling can help you to accomplish both. I wish you the best of luck.